Monday, December 14, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
in loving memory
"our cat is gone.."
"what do u mean gone?"
"he's dead. ur dad & i found him yesterday afternoon at our backyard.."
. . . . . . . . .
i was speechless.
i was crushed.
i didn't know what to say.
we only had him for a few months but it feels like we had him forever.
he was the latest addition to our family,
the apple of our eyes.
we were so used to having him around & now that he's gone i still feel like he's still here, maybe just playing outside the house.
but when night comes, it hit me that he's not with us anymore because his usual spot on the sofa is now empty without him curling comfortably on it.
i did notice that he wasn't himself these past few days but i thought it was just temporary & that he'd be back to his crazy self in no time.
but that time never came cause he's no longer here.
the moment mom delivered the news, i was instantly brought back to all the times we were together.
the time when he sneaked under the table & suddenly jumping and nibbling on our feet.
and the time when he started climbing on top of us, snuggling up close when we pulled up the blanket, getting ready for bed.
also when he purred on our faces when we sleep cause he had to relieve himself but we forgot to leave the door open for him.
he liked to sleep at odd places but he loved sleeping with us the most.
i miss his warmth & my nights would be lonely again without him.
he was a very special cat & no other cat could ever take his place in our hearts.
i m sure of that cause my dad buried him under his favorite tree, the tree he liked to climb onto & how i can see my mom's eyes watered whenever we talked about him.
i hope he will be happier where he is now with non stop supply of his favorite cat food.
i miss him so much already & i don't care that i m actually crying in public while typing this.
(T_T)
Sunday, November 29, 2009
one qurban i could never forget
im really sorry for not updating.
i never thought anyone would notice my abscense but somebody actually did.
(^_^)
firstly, i'd like to wish Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha to all Muslims.
speaking of qurban, every year i always had flashbacks to when i was in secondary school.
unabashed, i'd like to share what happened on that one fateful day 11 years ago.
our school participated in the qurban of a few cows & goats at our school mosque.
after school session ended, my friends and i stopped by to watch the whole thing in progress.
as soon as i reached there, i immediately spotted a white cow, already lying on the ground, barely breathing.
with blood dripping from the cut on its neck, the bovine looked directly at me with tears in its eyes.
as if begging for mercy.
it was heart wrenching & tears started streaming down my cheeks.
not wanting my friends to know, i retreated far from the crowd but one actually noticed & asked whether i was ok or not.
i wasn't ok & i was still crying when i reached my room.
later in the evening, we had the qurban meat for dinner but i didn't have my dinner that day.
i didn't have the heart to.
friends keep telling that i was just being silly & that the cow died for a good cause but i just couldn't shake the sight of it from my head.
not until now.
i think i should go for therapy.
(T_T)
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
books galore
and i only paid RM40 for them.
really, im serious.
i found i real great website for book lovers like myself & they sell pre loved books (but for me they look just like brand new) for a fraction of a price.
im now planning to purchase a few more books for my collection.
Sophie Kinsella's Shopaholic Series for starters.
interested?
don't take my word for it.
visit here.
footnote: my broadband is officially dead. i miss being online every day. :(
Sunday, November 8, 2009
congratulations AMER & ETA
i actually went to Port Dickson to attend a wedding.
i was supposed to publish an entry about it once i got back home but my broadband started showing symptoms of terminal illness i had to put it to rest.
for almost a week now, i been carrying around my laptop to places with WIFI access just to get connected.
so forgive me for the short updates & lack thereof.
(cause when i do get online, i'd be spending most of my time taking care of my crops & animals in Farmville. im at level 32 now by the way. ;p )
without further a due,
here are the pics taken on that day.
i apologized for the pictures' poor quality.
nevertheless, do enjoy!
anyway, i had the perfect answer for the ever ending question, 'When's ur turn?'
actually, my bro answered it for me.
when asked, he promptly replied, 'Ayang is waiting for her blue-eyed knight in shining armour.'
not exactly in those words but u get my point.
he obviously knows my taste in men.
;p
happy birthday, dear!
with that, i wanna wish my dear friend, Hathsey,
HAPPY 26th BIRTHDAY!
can't wait for December to come cause he'll be home for Christmas.
i'll be counting the days.
(^_^)
Thursday, November 5, 2009
happy birthday, bro!
HAPPY 36th BIRTHDAY!
as he said, age is just a number & he's damn right cause to me he doesn't look his age at all but younger.
;)
Thursday, October 29, 2009
..and im leaving on a jetplane
for those close to me knows that this is a common sight, my love for last minute preparation for everything!
it's true when they say old habits die hard.
an interesting thing happened just now (and i find it funny), while loading our stuff into our overstuffed luggage, my sis & mum suddenly got choked up & teary eyed.
thinking about our cat!
we had to let him stay at my aunt's cause we won't be around for 4 days.
my sis even had a little souvenir from him last night when she sent him there.
a deep, long scratch on her left arm.
pretty obvious he didn't want to stay.
so the two of them were talking about him & his antics which never failed to make us laugh.
i was excluded cause i wasn't that close to him, not because i m heartless ok?
i could be worse that's why i didn't allow myself to be attached in the first place.
cat story aside, i need to continue packing.
i'll be attending a wedding & majlis bercukur this weekend so i need to look my best cause i'll be on the watch for potential partners.
and i need to come up with a witty comeback for the usual 'when will be ur turn?' question.
:D
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
destress urself
for starters, we were in Hall 4 in MBO Cinema where all the seats are couple seats with reclining back rest.
as first timers there, my sis and I were like 'waaa, best!' and started to rock back & forth on the chair.
we were like Neanderthals, we just couldn't help it.
and my, was it cold in there!
in all the movie was great.
it's one of the movies where u have to watch til the end cause u don't have a clue what will happen next.
and what's more, i got to see my favourite man half naked.
Gerard Butler is damn fine!
:D
as promised, here are a few ways on how to alleviate excessive stress u're dealing with.
(Clyde, Gerard's character should apply some of these before he starts taking things into his own hands)
~ be aware of ur stressors & emotional & physical reactions
~ recognize what u can change
~ reduce the intensity of ur emotional reactions
~ learn to moderate ur physical reactions to stress
~ build ur physical reserves
~ maintain ur emotional reserves
~ eliminate stress from ur environment
~ improve air quality around u
~ change bad lighting
~ organize & decorate
~ have personal space
~ learn meditation & breathing techniques
~ focus on an object / sound
~ create a mental image of a pleasant & relaxing place in ur mind & immerse urself in that
why am i suddenly an expert in this stress thingy?
actually i just went through a one day training on STRESS MANAGEMENT yesterday so i thought about sharing what i learn from that.
so that we all can be less stressed out & when we do, we know how to handle it better.
hope it helps, folks!
(^_^)
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
stressed out? destress!
experience memory problems?
find it hard to make decisions?
see only the negative side of things?
desire to escape or run away?
have urges to laugh or cry at inappropriate time?
or
are you . . . . . .
moody & hypersensitive?
depressed?
angry & resentful?
easily irritated & on edge?
lacking confidence?
and suffering from . . . . .
back pain?
headaches?
stomachaches?
ulcers?
then u must be STRESSED.
i know i am cause i said yes to most of the above.
especially now when my internet connection keeps getting disconnected.
(along with other things)
but fear not, i will share with all of u on how to alleviate all those excessive stress but u have to wait for my next post.
i'm getting ready to watch Law Abiding Citizen starring Gerard Butler (yum!) & Jamie Foxx and later have a late supper at McD.
my diet?
to hell with it.
i'm destressing.
:p
why do they have to take it away from me?
Spongebob playing me as a distraught & desperate Whitnut lover
-credits of google-
for Whitnut, from Big Apple Donuts.
white chocolate on top with peanut butter filling.
*salivates*
i love it so much, i bought it each & every time i came by that place.
so frequent that even the guy there knew exactly what i wanted without me telling.
but the last time i checked, they don't make it anymore.
u should have seen the look on my face when they told me that.
a bit like Spongebob's or maybe worst.
(T_T)
Friday, October 23, 2009
he's super clean now
after more than 2 weeks!
im so horrible!
it wasn't intentional though.
it's been raining a lot lately & i've been working the afternoon shift.
excuses aside, the bottom line is im just too plain lazy!
by the way, Miles is what i decided to call my ride.
Miles gets me going the extra miles.
get it?
(thanks to Anne for the suggestion)
and right now, he looks sparkly & clean & brand new, i just love it!
kudos to the hard working blokes at The Original Carwash at Rubber Road.
ranging from RM8 - RM12 (wash only), RM13 - RM17 (wash+vacuum), RM30 - RM80 (full wash+vacuum+wax) with complimentary drink (u can choose either tea, coffee or lime juice), u can be one happy & satisfied customer like me!
(^_^)
Thursday, October 22, 2009
i could use a little help here
any ideas?
im open to suggestions.
it's for a guy by the way.
:)
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
everything happens for a reason
my absence wasn't intentional.
but because i was feeling under the weather since Saturday,
had the whole Sunday lying helplessly in bed,
and spent my Monday coughing away (and still lying in bed).
only today, i'm in a much better state.
a lot better that i just came back from the shopping mall since 5pm!
how about that for painting the town red?
:D
while being sick, i had an epiphany.
noticed i get that a lot?
(laughs)
well, eventhough i hate being sick cause being sick would mean,
a) i look terrible (worse than my usual morning face)
b) i'm stuck at home (my activities are limited)
c) i had to refrain eating my all time favorite food & stock up on plain water (gag),
i realised that there is some good that come with all the bad things that happen (and being sick is just one of them)
let just say, things always happen for a reason.
i usually hold on to this just to comfort myself until i started seeing the 'reason' why it happened.
because sometimes it takes days, weeks or years but at times, it only takes a few hours maybe just a few minutes.
ok, a few example.
1) i was supposed to fly to KL from the 9th-12th this month, alone. but i rescheduled for a later trip at the end of the month. i fell sick on the 9th til 12th. if i have gotten on a plane that day, God knows what will happen to me. maybe i'd collapsed at LCCT, who knows?
2) i had a minor accident with a motorcycle 3 years back but was too scared to tell my dad, i drove around town with a dented car. on my way home (finally), i gave way to a familiar face driving a familiar car. turned out, he's the guy i've been crushing on like FOREVER (at that time) & he was looking oh so tasteful, i kept replaying the moment our eyes met that when my dad finally found out about the car, i still manage to smile despite the punishment i had to go through.
3) my sis & i were to fly from KL to KCH (also 3 years ago) and guess what? i'm the only one out without a seat. technical glitch they said but whatever. so i had to stay behind & waited for the next flight while my sis flew alone (our luggage were already aboard so one of us had to fly first). the silver lining in this story? our car broke down in the middle of the road. if it wasn't for me who arrived much later with two taxis, my whole family would have been stranded much longer at the side of the road.
there's actually more but u should get my point by now, right?
so now, i always try not to complain & question God why such thing happened & why me?
because there must be a reason it happen & the reason might actually be worth it.
:)
Thursday, October 8, 2009
surprise!
fieza & myself have been keeping mum for almost a month now.
man, it was really hard!
there were times when we almost let it slip our tongue thus ruining the surprise.
but we followed through, only 3 other knew about it.
yes, we were so tight lipped about it that even my parents didn't have a single clue on what's going on!
i just looooove throwing surprises cause the reactions of the unsuspecting 'victims' never failed to make my day.
but today, it is no longer a surprise.
the secret is finally revealed.
today, i would like to say it loud & proud that i have found a new love.
well, it's not a newborn nephew or niece, or a new pet.
definitely not any new arm candy.
(getting one would be great though)
but
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
a BRAND NEW RIDE!
u read that right, i just picked up my car yesterday & i still can't believe that i own one now!
i've been making plans since forever but things kept coming up so i had to put it aside for a while.
until that one fateful day in September when i had an epiphany.
'it's either now or never'
i m glad for that sudden realisation & much persuasion on fieza's side that a month later, i m still trying hard to wipe the smug look off my face.
so without any further a due,
this is MY BABY.
(haven't named it yet. any suggestions?)
pic taken by fieza. artsy! this is just the display unit. well u know what im trying to convey here. :)
footnote: i just realised major things keep happening in my life on the 8th. first, i got employed on 8th March last year & now this. will i be meeting The One on the 8th too? :p
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Sunday, October 4, 2009
fill me in
and that something is none other than a rich, heavy & dense mooncake.
with red bean paste.
just the thought of it makes my mouth water.
to be honest, my first time having it was 2 years back because before, the mooncakes i saw all have salted eggs in it & i couldn't see myself eating salted egg with anything else besides rice.
i figure the taste would be revolting.
and the thing not looking inviting at all sure didn't help.
but my brother bought one & insisted i had a small bite,
later i ended eating half.
but not the salted egg filling though.
not ready for that yet.
have anyone tried it?
is it any good?
Saturday, October 3, 2009
im feeling frisky
i've been sleeping on my own for too many nights because i wanted the whole bed all to myself.
but come to think of it, good things get better when shared with others.
so tonight i decided to share that other half of my bed.
cold nights wont be as cold anymore when i can snuggle up close to the warmth of another living being.
talking on my bed wouldn't make me look like im crazy anymore when i have another pair of ears listening patiently to my every woes.
and my hands would definitely not behave when i have something to touch & rub on.
before u have any funny ideas, let me set the record straight.
i'll be spending the night with my cat.
i repeat, my cat.
why not?
he deserved it anyway.
he's been a very good pussy.
:p
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
satu hari di hari raya
even my mum joined in the fun.
yup, she took a few of my sister's secret stash & fired up a few very loud ones.
while i sat in my room covering my ears.
before u start taunting me for being a sissy, let me explain myself.
i had had a bad experience with firecrackers & anything that explodes
(that includes bottled yogurt).
back in 1994 when i was in primary 5, i was as brave as any other 11 year olds.
i lit firecrackers on my hand & let go milliseconds before they exploded.
i would laugh & got so high with the adrenaline rush, i never wanted to stop.
my cousin who was 5 years my junior became the sole spectator and he was in total awe with what i did.
(he wasn't allowed to touch them)
he clapped every time the stuff exploded & pleaded for more.
as i was also enjoying myself, i gave in to his demands.
but lighting firecrackers then throwing it in the air one at a time when i have a box full of them waiting to be fired up made me restless.
i wanted my night to end with a BANG!
it sure hell did!
i took out one whole string of firecrackers & lit the fuse.
i waited anxiously for it to start popping away & when it did, the thing started to fly all over us!
we both ran for cover but it was too late.
it flew right on top of my foot & scarred me for life.
ruined my dream of becoming a foot model
(i just add that up).
but it did scar & scare the shit out of me.
now anything to do with explosives, please count me out.
so during this Hari Raya, play safe ok?
SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI. MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
cat-asthrophe!
Monday, September 7, 2009
farming might be my forte (^_~)
i m currently alternating between tabs.
here & FARMVILLE on Facebook.
yes, i m the latest person who got swept off the interactive online games wave. previously, i wasn't bothered at all.
i even ignored all the requests & gifts that i received related to the game. until i tried my hands at it (after much persuasion from a friend), i was immediately hooked!
and i m now at level 9. yippee!
(but still waaaaay behind others)
i m so caught up with the whole thing that sometimes i find myself counting the hours when the seeds i planted should be harvested or whether my trees and animals are ready for me to collect their fruits, eggs, milk & truffles.
besides that, i can always sell them later if i want to.
see? it's just like farming in the real world. but minus the heat, back breaking hard work & huge capital.
i m slowly progressing & moving up with the help of other 'farmers.' who would have thought, i can have so much fun over a little game in cyberspace.
(^_^)
Monday, August 31, 2009
suckers for romance, this is a must read (^_^)
i finally have the book!
i m super duper psyched!
it's actually a very belated birthday gift from my dear friend, Anne.
thank u so much, babe!
i m going to spend one whole day (uninterrupted) to finish the book.
so next time when ur calls are going straight to voicemail or u find ur messages not replied,
please don't take it to heart.
that would be me, immersing myself in the book.
oh i can't wait!
i wanna live!
despite the whole 1 Malaysia thing,
my spirit isn't so up there with the rest of other Malaysians.
i just realized my life is pathetic.
let me take that back, that's too harsh (even for myself).
my life is . . less than exciting.
(explains the lack of updates on this blog)
'cause interesting things don't happen much in my mediocre life.
actually so far, life has been good.
but i want something more out of life.
I WANT IT TO BE GREAT!
i love my family & friends and life has been more bearable when they're around.
when i m alone, that's when the pity party starts.
i envy those who are spontaneous, who aren't scared to go out there on their own & try something new.
who is so full of life & live life without any regrets.
i m a natural born worrier.
(not warrior even if it sounds the same)
i worry A LOT.
even over the minutest things & the puniest details.
i make mountains out of molehills.
and i m scared to step out of my comfort zone.
i pretty much thought life is good as it is.
until i see others living theirs to the fullest.
and saw that i had missed out a lot in comparison.
i tell others that change is good even if it's hard in the beginning.
and that if u don't like something, stop complaining, change it.
but i don't practice what i preach.
i m still stuck in this static rut i called life.
so what should i do now?
where do i start?
how do i make my biography / memoir a more interesting read when i'm finally gone?
footnote: u think i should say YES to all opportunity that comes my way just like Jim Carrey in YES MAN?
Monday, August 24, 2009
life's a POP
wanna know why?
just now, my mum was pestering me about a yogurt drink i bought a few days back, untouched in the fridge.
known for her concern about the pettiest thing, she was worried about the drink going to waste.
actually i did take a sip from the bottle before but later decided to not finish it.
it tasted weird.
really weird.
serves me right for choosing LIME + CUCUMBER flavoured yogurt drink.
i still shiver everytime i was reminded of the taste in my mouth.
ok, to cut the long story short, i told her she could just throw it away coz it's a few days old & might have passed the expiry date.
so while i was surfing away on my laptop, i suddenly heard a very loud POP!
just like the sound of someone popping open a champagne bottle but louder.
it was so loud i almost had a heart attack.
turned out, the bottle that contained the yogurt drink had become an explosive device.
somehow the gases inside the bottle was so eager to get out that with the slightest movement, the bottle cap came flying a few metres away.
it took us a while to find it.
seriously. im not joking.
i couldn't stop smiling because that was the second time the same thing happened.
first it was me.
thank goodness the bottle cap didnt pop on my face or i would have a Rihanna for a few days.
and just now, it happened to my mum.
im just curious, what actually happened in the bottle?
*pakdukun, here's one research u could do :) *
since Hari Raya is near, maybe i should keep a few bottles handy.
to be in tune with the festive season.
;p
Sunday, August 16, 2009
always in our hearts
it was such a beautiful day.
the sun was up, the sky was clear.
we could even feel the gentle breeze.
much different than what we had the week before.
the haze was so bad,
it was suffocating to even step out from the house for just 5 minutes.
but not today.
as a matter of fact,
on the day arwah was buried,
the weather had changed for the better.
it poured heavily.
much awaited rain after a long week of dryness & unbearable heat.
it looked as if the universe also mourned after his departure.
but for me it was truly a blessing.
because of all days, it was decided to rain on that particular day.
and as we sat next to his grave, reciting Al-Fatihah & Yasin,
the cloud shifted, forming a natural canopy above us.
we breathed out air of relief,
for the realisation that he left in a peaceful way.
before, i cry just by the mere mention of his name.
but now, i smile because i know he never really left.
he will forever be a part of us, secured safely in our hearts.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
al fatihah
i visited a very dear friend at the hospital.
his condition had deteriorated from the last time i saw him.
it's heartbreaking to see someone u've known for a long time,
as someone so full of life to a person laying helplessly on the hospital bed.
i tried to be strong and was thinking about talking to him eventhough i know he wasn't conscious at that time.
i had so much to say, i want to tell him that i want him to get better, things will be ok in the end & we'll be going out with the others like usual, but the words didn't come out.
i couldn't even get myself to call out his name.
i got all choked up.
and then the tears came streaming down,
i had to get away.
i wasn't that strong.
today's Thursday.
and that dear friend of mine had gone.
he passed away around 2pm today.
i was at work when i heard the news.
but i didn't even shed a tear.
i was in complete denial.
i know he was really sick & he could leave us any time.
i didn't expect it to be this soon.
but it finally dawned on me that he's really gone when we reached his house.
there were family & friends reciting Yasin, crying & consoling each other.
while reciting Yasin, i broke down & cried at the mention of his name 'azyzeer rahiim' which means 'yang maha penyayang.'
i never lost someone very close to me before & i couldn't grab the idea that i won't be seeing him around anymore.
jie,
i will always remember u as the cool guy.
someone with great talent in art.
and eccentric sense of style.
who introduced me to Arctic Monkeys & the sorts.
a guy with few words but never ending smile.
and how u always make that cute faces of urs.
i will sure miss that.
i think i never thank u enough for being my friend.
for the time u kept it a secret when u saw my blood stained school uniform in class.
for giving me rides to the surau when we worked part time at a school canteen with a few others.
for letting me win Street Fighter a few times when we escaped from work at the canteen.
for the laughter we shared while playing UNO.
for the last birthday gift u gave me & fieza last year.
for the great time we had at all the outings just because u were there.
i still can't believe u're gone.
but it's ok, at least u won't suffer anymore.
i know right now u're in a much better place.
MOHAMAD AZYZEER RAHIIM,
may ur soul rest in peace.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
impulsive buying
or even
VENOMOUS?
Saturday, August 8, 2009
forgive & forget?
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
isn't this thing the cutest?
Sunday, August 2, 2009
unagi time!
Monday, July 27, 2009
suckers for romance, this is a must watch. (^_^)
well that just happened to me.
i came across The Pink Stilettos while blog hopping & i immediately fell in love with her entry i just have to publish it in mine.
it's about a movie bound to be released here in October.
The Time Traveler's Wife with Rachel McAdams & Eric Bana playing the leads.
(oh i just love them!)
it's based on a best selling novel with the same title by Audrey Niffenegger.
(i m so getting the book!)
Sunday, July 26, 2009
brace yourself for traffic jams
i bet we'll gonna spend time on the road a lot longer than usual.
sigh.
klutzy me
Saturday, July 18, 2009
my battle of the bulge
Monday, July 13, 2009
are we love worthy?
during dinner we reminisced the days we spent in KK and later planned for another island getaway some time next year.
the destination?
KRABI, fellas!
im keeping my fingers crossed on that one. ;)
we also had heart to heart talk about relationships, wedding plans & how our lives would change after settling down.
yes, we have these conversations very often lately.
blame us for being 26! :D
we focused on all the great stuff of course until one point, we started figuring out plans to prepare ourselves for the worst.
touch wood.
i found it scary that rather lately im hearing relationships that either had faltered or on the verge of breaking up.
aware of my status, i m looking forward to be in a relationship.
i might as well strangle myself if i said that i don't feel a thing when i see lovebirds giggling, holding hands, feeding each other like the world revolves around them.
just them.
i can be so green with envy i swear i would rip my clothes off & turned into Hulk (but with boobs.) :D
but thinking & seeing how feelings can easily change, can be his side or even mine, i m now having second thoughts about this thing called love.
i m pretty much comfortable with where i m now & it's just damn hard to find a decent guy these days.
the potential ones are either taken, gay or not responsive.
not even a twitch. nada.
im giving out hints & sending vibes but u still don't get it, do u?
seriously, do i have to write 'I LIKE U. LET'S HOOK UP' on my forehead to make it obvious?
guys. they just can't read between the lines.
we just have to say it straight on, out loud, in their faces.
sigh.
if there are no such thing as rejection, i'd definitely do it in a blink of an eye.
i don't mind making the first move once in a while but only to some extent.
that is IF he is worth the trouble & the possibility of being turned down.
but in the end, nothing really beats the feeling of being pursued & swept off once's feet.
(^_~)
Friday, July 10, 2009
i know it's late but happy birthday, babe!
in Awg Mu's car, sightseeing in KK
buffet at Harbour View, small gathering with other smskians