Thursday, March 20, 2014

Beauty conscious

Turning 31 *gasps* in a few months is really making me anxious.

So in my pathetic attempt to relive my glorious teenage years, I decided to give this beauty supplement a try.

Known as KColly Sweet 17 which I think stands for Korean Collagen to look like 17 again yoohoo!

Read good reviews about it, even Nur Fathia, the Arianna Rose swears by it. 

Bought it online from Zueboutique in Instagram for RM120 inclusive poslaju and it arrived today.

Actually I did find another seller who sells it for RM95 but because she wasn't friendly I didn't buy it from her.

Zuera on the other hand is a people person & that's how sellers should treat their potential customers. 

She delivers quick service & she also sells a lot of other beauty stuff which a few I got them for free. Another bonus point for her.

What are you waiting for? Follow her on Instagram now and maybe we can look & feel 17 together!


Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Law Of Attraction

Once I bought kain pelikat in Serikin just because I liked the colour.
I was single so obviously I didn't have anyone to give it to.
There was a guy I liked but it would be weird to give your crush kain pelikat right?

So I kept it til the right one comes along.
And so he did.
It made me smile everytime I see my husband wears it to perform his solat.

Fast forward a few years, I did it again.
I just bought myself these cute Tommee Tippee baby bottles because the colour is to die for!
Even if I have a boy in the future, he will use it and be the trendiest baby in the block.

Friday, March 14, 2014

Between Expectations and Reality

"When are you going to have a baby? (Insert name here) just gave birth. U got married before her didn't u?"

"It's almost 2 years right? How come u're still not pregnant?"

On good days i just smiled & answered, "Belum rezeki."
On bad days, I swear I've murdered them a few times in my head, still with a smile on my face.
What? You expect everyone to get it right on the first try?
The nerve of some people.

To be honest, during early months of marriage, I wanted to conceive so bad that any signs of nausea or a little lightheadedness will send me running to the toilet to get my UPT done.
And each and everytime it's negative.
Couldn't help but break down and cry a little inside.

'Was it because I'm overweight making me infertile?'

'Or because my menstrual cycle is irregular so the timing was always off?'

'What did we do wrong?'

All kinds of questions in my head.
I was so caught up with the idea of being a mother that I felt worthless & I have let everyone especially my husband down when I didn't.

That depressed feeling lasted for months.
In which I looked for strength in any form that I could to not let it go over my head and got worse.
Love from my husband & prayers helped but I needed more.
I wanted reassurance, something I can hold on to.
Then I came across THAT something.
It's a saying that goes;

"Allah never promised that every married couple will have children of their own".

That sentence really got me thinking.
Who are we to question God's plan?
If I am meant to be a mother, I will be.
If not now, maybe later.
But if I'm not, there's nothing I could do about it.
Children are REZEKI from Allah, maybe ours is in other forms.
He always knows what's best for everybody.
And I am holding on to that.

I can't deny the feeling of jealousy I have towards those with children.
Especially those who made making babies look so easy, like they are not even trying.
At times when I'm alone, I rub my empty belly and just imagine how it feels to have a life living inside me.
I just hope one day I don't have to imagine it anymore.
But for now, I should concentrate on being a better wife.
I may not be a mother but I am my own person, this is my life & I should not let others make me feel less of a woman.