my battle of the bulge

yes, ur eyes aren't lying.

the fat ass on the far left is me.

correction: was

i had a total wake up call when i saw this pic.

taken back in Sept 2005, i was at my heaviest weight.

68kg.

maybe i even reached 70++ but i couldn't be sure coz back then,

i can't even look at a weighting scale, let alone step on it.

just imagine, with my height of just 5 feet with that much load on.

i ballooned so much, i looked like im about to be blown out to space.

my feet constantly hurt and i had zero self esteem.

most of the clothes i want so badly to wear didn't fit me.

what's worst,

i can't even look at someone giggling or laughing without thinking,

"they must be talking about me."

that's when i thought, this really has to stop.

i had to change.

i don't wanna look like this forever.

and i definitely don't wanna feel inferior anymore.

fast forward 4 years later,

i've managed to unload 10kg of the excess weight i've been carrying around

& kept it at that.

just 2kg shy of my ideal weight.

it didn't come easy though.

i've tried almost everything.

u name it, i tried it.

and yes, i relapsed a few times.

but i'm glad & proud of myself that i made the choice to live a much healthier life.

to date, i must admit i m still struggling to keep the weight off coz i m constantly hungry. sumtimes i feel like im eating for two. :D

and like farah put it, food is bliss.

pure bliss.

so at times, i did give in to my cravings.

the likes of nasi ayam penyet, McD & ice cream are huge temptations for me to resist.

but once in a while in a small portion doesn't hurt right?

for me, better to eat a little bit of everything than depriving urself of some things.

but that's just me.

explains the relapses and why i don't look like Jillian, the trainer from The Biggest Loser.

:D

footnote: pic was taken during juzz's convocation. notice the things missing from our heads now? ;p