Progress (or lack of it) so far

Last night after our gym sessions, drenched in sweat, Fieza & myself had a wellness analysis.
It was a major wake up call!

U will be shocked with the numbers cause I totally was!

Weight - 62.6 kg
Lost 1.4kg so far. It's not much but better than nothing right?

Body fat - 37.8%
For a woman my age, percentage of body fat should not exceed 25.4% but I managed to overshoot it by 12.4%. Pfft.

Body water - 45.5%
The ideal would be 50% - 60% so I need to stock up on my water intake.

Bone mass - 2.2 kg
This refers to my bone density. The ideal would be 2.4kg. Just a little bit more. Need to drink more milk & be a poster girl for the Got Milk? ad. In my dreams. :D

Muscle mass - 36.7%
Physique rating - 3
This is the ratio of body fat & muscle mass in our body. The woman who did the analysis told me my physique isn't proportionate with the percentage of muscle mass I have. Currently I am solidly built (large frame, obese). She said I need to reduce body fat & increase muscle mass to achieve a healthier rating of 5.

Basal metabolic rate - 1221 cal
This refers to the minimum calorific requirement needed to sustain life in a resting individual. Simple English, u must not eat more than ur BMR if u want to lose weight.

Visceral fat rating - 7
This refers to the fat that surrounds the internal organs. For a woman my age, mine shud be in the range of 1 - 4. 7 is still in the healthy range but barely.

Metabolic age - 48 years
My chronological age is 27 years but internally, my organs are functioning like a 48 year old's! That means my organs are 21 years old older than what they're supposed to be. Waaaa!

Get urself checked. U can actually count them urselves or do what I did, just let the machine did all the counting & panicked when u see the numbers. :D

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10kg in 3 months!

Before the year ends, I must:

I) Have a healthier lifestyle - watch what I eat & work out! work out! work out!

II) Be stronger both physically & mentally

III) Not look like The Incredible Hulk or a jackfruit in tight fitting clothes / bodycons

IV) Fit into my old jeans perfectly without any muffin top, without having to lie down to zip it up while sucking in all the air

V) Wear my favourite clothes that is the toga without any inhibitions

VI) Look great just in a pair of skinny jeans, top & killer heels

VII) Cut my hair short & rock the do

VIII) Like what I see in the mirror & in pictures because I look good from any angle

XI) Have a defined jawline & waistline

X) Match how I feel inside with how I look outside

XI) Prove myself that I can actually achieve something if I set my mind to it.

Yes, I'm stating it here.
Because it's here for everyone to read, there's no reason for me to be slacking anymore.
So watch this space.
Come back on the 1st January 2011 to see how I have risen to the challenge.
And maybe found love along the way.
;)

updated: i stepped on the scale while on the gym and OMG, i'm 64kg!
that means instead of 10kg, i need to lose 14 freaking kg!
wish me luck guys!
i'm gonna need it.

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Time's up!

Dear u,

Today would be exactly a month since I last heard from u.
If things were different, if things were like before, I know I would be missing u like crazy by now.
But not this time.
Not after what u did.

Let me take u through the emotional roller coaster ride I had on that fateful afternoon.

At first, I was in utter disbelief & denial.
I rubbed my eyes a few times, hoping what I saw wasn't real.
I even tried a few times until I realised that no matter how many times I did it, the result will always be the same.

Then it hit me that I was being lied to all these while.
How can I be so stupid to let it happen for almost 3 and a half years?
I was ignorant of all the signs & serves me right for that.

That's when anger seeped in.
I let my guards down, I gave whole heartedly & this is what I got in return.
I'm angry at myself for being too trusting & weak when it comes to love.
Because I thought u were true & what we had was special.
Obviously I thought wrong.
I should have known that something that's too good to be true usually is.

Slowly anger turned into sadness.
I tried going to bed early that night, thinking that maybe when I wake up the next morning everything will return to normal & I won't feel as shitty anymore.
But I couldn't sleep, I kept tossing & turning thinking what I did wrong to deserve being treated this way.
When I finally had some sleep, I woke up feeling even worse than before.
It got real bad that I had to take a day off from work.
A whole day spent crying in bed & when no one was watching.
And tried to keep a straight face when someone was.

Do u know how hard it was for me to hold back my tears when all I wanted to do was bawl my eyes out because I didn't want others to know how stupid I was/felt?

Do u know that I never felt anything closer than what I had for u for any other guy eventhough we never met?

Do u know I have big dreams for us, for our future?

Of course u don't.
How would u when u don't look for me.
U didn't even try.
U know how to reach me but u chose to be silent.
Without any explanation.
And it's been a month.
Not 3, but 30 freaking days.
U had ur chance but u blew it.
Too late for anything right now.
Apologies just won't quite cover it.
But don't worry, I forgive u a long time ago.
But will I forget about it?
Not in a million years.

Thanks for doing me wrong & making me strong.

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Salam lebaran

Celebrating Raya in the big city definitely is way different than back at home / in the kampung.
Honestly I don't feel like it's Raya at all, if it wasn't for all the glorious food we're having & everyone donned in their Raya clothes.
And I just woke up from my afternoon nap with a headache.
Yes. It's THAT boring here.
But I'm glad to be with my loved ones here to welcome the month of Syawal and with that said, I'd like to wish everyone a Selamat Hari Raya & Maaf Zahir Batin from the bottom of my heart.
When I get back, I'll try to datang berjarah but I'm terribly sorry if I couldn't make it to all of your houses this year, maybe next year k?
Here's urs truly with sis, just in case u guys miss me.
And just look at Andika in his baju melayu & samping.
Isn't he the cutest thing ever?
Geram!

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So long, farewell. It's time to say goodbye.

I'd be leaving on a jetplane (as if!) yet again later today.
Destination: Kuala Lumpur.
Can't wait!
Eventhough celebrating Hari Raya away from home doesn't sound like the most exciting thing to others but it is for me.
Because no matter where u are, as long as u have ur family close (especially all 6 of my nephews & nieces whom I miss terribly!) any dull occasion would be a blast!
And freaking awesome!
(I just love the word awesome, I can say it all day). :D
Really looking forward to do a bit of shopping (Pavillion here I come!), eat til I can't eat no more, babysitting my nephews & nieces (practice makes perfect) & maybe, maybe earn some angpau raya (keeping fingers crossed).
Til later updates from the city I miss so much, take care everyone especially u.
Yes, u. The one's reading this.
(^_^)

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Guess the traditional kuih

My grandaunt made these spicy cookies yesterday.
They called it 'kuih puyak' or 'kuih pedas' but I don't know the commercial name for it.
It has a strong spicy smell & tastes even spicier.
Eventhough I don't like the taste of it, I ate one out of courtesy and because I like the way it looks.
Btw, the one I ate was heart shaped. :)
I don't like anything that will leave any strong spicy taste on my tongue & burning sensation down my throat.
For example, I don't like black pepper anything & I eat sushis minus the wasabi.
Hot I can take, but not spicy.
KFC's Hot & Spicy would be an exception.
And now I'm craving for one.
Dang!

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My reading pleasure

These are my monthly must haves.
CLEO, FEMALE & SHAPE.
I never missed an issue since I was first hooked to them.
Now, I have tonnes at the office & at home.
I want to keep all of them but I don't know where to store them anymore, meaning I have to let go or send them out to be recycled.
I wish I have Doraemon's magic pocket so that I don't have to.
>_<

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