i wanna live!

it's Merdeka Day today.
despite the whole 1 Malaysia thing,
my spirit isn't so up there with the rest of other Malaysians.
i just realized my life is pathetic.
let me take that back, that's too harsh (even for myself).
my life is . . less than exciting.
(explains the lack of updates on this blog)
'cause interesting things don't happen much in my mediocre life.
actually so far, life has been good.
but i want something more out of life.
I WANT IT TO BE GREAT!
i love my family & friends and life has been more bearable when they're around.
when i m alone, that's when the pity party starts.
i envy those who are spontaneous, who aren't scared to go out there on their own & try something new.
who is so full of life & live life without any regrets.
i m a natural born worrier.
(not warrior even if it sounds the same)
i worry A LOT.
even over the minutest things & the puniest details.
i make mountains out of molehills.
and i m scared to step out of my comfort zone.
i pretty much thought life is good as it is.
until i see others living theirs to the fullest.
and saw that i had missed out a lot in comparison.
i tell others that change is good even if it's hard in the beginning.
and that if u don't like something, stop complaining, change it.
but i don't practice what i preach.
i m still stuck in this static rut i called life.
so what should i do now?
where do i start?
how do i make my biography / memoir a more interesting read when i'm finally gone?

footnote: u think i should say YES to all opportunity that comes my way just like Jim Carrey in YES MAN?